I am 19, and I have had a job since I was 12. That's 7 years of working consistently. It may have been two different jobs, but I was never without one. Working was just another part of life for me. Work, church, school, friends; they all went together. (I also don't know if I used that semi colon right, but we're gonna go with it). Working became such a part of me that I didn't know what I would do with myself if I didn't have a job.
My last job wasn't my favorite. It was stressful and exhausting, but I loved the people I got to work with. I had been wrestling with quitting, but I wasn't going to do that without having another job lined up already. Like I said, working was ingrained in me and became part of who I was. I was job hunting for a while, about 6 months. I gave up and told myself that god wanted me to stay.
Psalm 37:4 was a verse I meditated on. To me, part of delighting in the Lord is obeying. I thought that that was what I was doing. I convinced myself that if I stayed at my job, I would be given the desires of my heart. I stayed, and I worked. I was stressed, but I told myself that it would be worth it. Eventually it got so bad that I talked to my boss, and she graciously told me that they would only schedule me when the absolutely needed me. I thought that it would solve my problem. But I had a different problem than that.
Now, before I continue, I feel like I need to explains something. Discernment was always something that I struggled with. As an indecisive person, and someone who always has a bazillion thoughts running through her head, it was difficult for me to know when it was the Holy Spirit speaking to me. It became something that I began praying for as the new year began. If God wanted to tell me something, I wanted (and needed) to know that it was Him. He answered my prayer in an unexpected way.
I went to work as usual, but something changed. I began to feel convicted. I began to feel like I comprised. I felt so guilty for not quitting that I almost had a panic attack at work. I knew then that I tried to compromise with God because I wasn't comfortable with what He was asking me to do. I felt Him tell me that once I obeyed Him and did what he was asking me to do, then so many other doors I had been hoping and praying for would be opened. He promised me Psalm 37:4.
So that's what I did. I delighted myself in the Lord. I quit my job the next day. It was nerve wracking. I was still unsure about it, but I knew that if God wanted it than everything was going to work out. My last day was that Friday (or Saturday, I don't really remember). It didn't feel like I was leaving. I didn't feel relief or certainty. I felt odd. I felt peace, but it was a strange peace. I think part of that was because I was now unemployed after 7 years.
But something incredible happened. Not long after quitting, I was offered an amazing opportunity to follow the plan that God has for me. I was offered the opportunity to teach preschool, wait for it, in Honduras! The country that captured my heart 3 years ago. I knew God had plans for me in Honduras, I just didn't know in what capacity. Teaching preschool in Honduras with Legacy of Hope Foundation was my dream job, and it was plopped into my lap.
I am excited that I will be going to Honduras May 10th and returning June 27th. AH! It is a dream come true.
God keeps his promises. He promised me Psalm 37:4, something that is promised to everybody.
"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."
Much love + blessings,
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