Embracing the Uncomfortable

I am not a morning person. 

In fact, I am the last person you want to talk to in the morning. That is, until I've had my coffee. Waking up when it's still dark out isn't fun. The only thing I really like getting up early for are deer, fish, and planes. 

But this semester there's a new reason: school. I have the honor of teaching and assisting in a 1st grade classroom at Julia de Burgos Bilingual Elementary School in the heart of Philadelphia twice a week. In all honesty, when I found out I was placed in the School District of Philadelphia I was less than thrilled. I immediately began to think about traffic, driving, my dislike towards cities in general, the differences between me and my students, and pretty much every other negative thing you could think there is.

My first day did not go as I had hoped. I was pouring, dark, gloomy, and stressful. That was just the 2 hour commute to the school. Once I was in the room, I felt at home. But after that commute I began to think about everything that could go wrong throughout my time in Philly. However, this morning was a different story. 

I woke up a little late and thought to myself, "Great, it's only day 2.". 

During my drive, my attitude began to change. It started with seeing the sunrise, something that I had not experienced on my first day. The sky was full of cotton candy clouds as the sun made it's appearance. I thought, "Wow! THIS is what I get to see twice a week!". 

Notice the word get. God transformed my spirit of negativity into one that recognizes the blessings in the midst of change and new experiences. 

As I reached the outskirts of Philadelphia, I felt my heart begin to change - a stirring in my soul. A phrase popped into my head that has been on repeat the entire day. 

I feel like I'm going to grow to love this city.

Now, if you know me at all then you know that I don't like cities. I don't like the traffic, the congestion, everything being so fast paced and close together. I like my fields and back roads and wild animals. But I still felt this stirring and then an indescribable joy take over. 

I feel like I'm going to grow to love this city. 

I walked through the doors of Julia de Burgos Bilingual Elementary School with a new attitude. One of love, joy, compassion, and peace. I greeted the students, watched them unpack their backpacks, and saw a new generation rising up to change the world. It doesn't matter if they are from downtown Philly or the cornfields of Lancaster. They are sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, mothers, fathers, businessmen, teachers, pastors, counselors, secretaries, office workers; they are world changers and they are full of potential. 

My heart has already grown to love this city so much, and I thank God for making me uncomfortable. It's through our discomfort that we are stretched, and it's through being stretched that we grow. 

Allow God to make you uncomfortable. Don't remain stagnant because you're scared of what might happen. Instead, be excited for what could happen. 

Much love + blessings, 

xoxo Becky

Whispers

It's a Tuesday in the beginning of the semester, a time when I'm not really thinking about anything other than school work and deadlines and other responsibilities. But as I am sitting in the Outdoor Classroom embracing the gorgeous weather and scenery, God is whispering.

I was reminded of the intimacy we have when we are in relationship with God.

"It's nice to know I'm not alone. I've found my home here in your arms." -We Dance

We are never alone. God is just a shout, cry, or whisper away. He excitedly embraces us when we run to him. There is nothing too big or too small, no reason for us not to be welcomed into his arms. Even when we are angry with God, he still loves us.

I was also reminded that while it can be painful and difficult to have God close doors, nothing compares to what he has in store for us in the future. He closes doors because he loves us so much.

// I'm going to stop for a minute. I started this post in the morning, and have been trying to organize my thoughts into a somewhat coherent mess out of the the jumbled hot mess that they are, but I think I'm just going to run the train on the track it's going. Bare with me. \\

God uses music to speak to me a lot, and sometimes I don't even realize he's trying to get my attention. But this morning was different. Almost every song that played had a small, very specific message for me. And while I would love to write about all of them, I think the most important thing I took away from today encompasses all of them.

God whispers.

Let me say that again.

God whispers. 

I don't know about you, but when I heard about God speaking to other people I always imagined a strong, deep, clearly audible voice shouting from the Heavens so you wouldn't miss it. I quickly learned that that wasn't always the case (because it's God and he can do what he wants, if he wants to shout he totally could). I struggled with this for a long time, and I still do at times. I wanted to really know when God was trying to speak to me. I wanted it to be dramatic.

There have been times where I was 100% sure that God was talking, and other times I had to consult mentors and leaders. Today he showed up so many times with small, fortune-cookie-like reminders.

That's when I realized that he whispers too. All we have to do is listen. I needed to escape the craziness of senior year, field classes, homework assignments, and church responsibilities and embrace God's presence. I made my life a little quieter for an hour and began to worship his love and power and grace.

God wants to meet us where we're at. We just have to be willing to shut out the world and listen. Listen for his whispers.

I hope and I pray that you would rest in his presence and hear him. He hears you.

Much love + blessings,

Becky