So I Will Go

My whole life I have been chasing the plans God had for me. Yeah, I had some bumps along the way. You could say I fell into a ditch and struggled to climb my way out. But I've always been faithful in stepping into the next adventure God placed at my feet.

I've been on some great adventures: traveling with Holy Hands, working with FL Kids, being on Youth Staff, teaching in Honduras for almost 2 months, teaching in North Philadelphia, embracing the life of kindergarteners, and attending the best university in the state (I promise that's a completely unbiased opinion, obviously).

//Bravely following God's call all over the world with coffee in hand and joy in my heart//

This is my mission statement. This is why I'm here. These words echo through my thoughts with each
decision I make and each step I take. There are a few more words that I strive to make true about myself.

"Living a life full of adventure."

I don't want to lead some boring, monotonous, stale life. I want excitement. I want change. I want challenge. I want to joyfully and passionately embrace each new season that God brings to my life. Each new season is a new adventure.

I'm on to my next adventure. I am so filled with joy to tell you that I will be faithfully pursuing God's plan and purpose for my life by taking a leap and moving to the suburbs of Columbus, Ohio.

It's sad to think that I will be leaving the church I have called home for the first 21 years of my life. Freedom Life has taught me so many things and brought so much passion and love for Jesus into my soul. I've met some amazing people and made the most wonderful, life-long friends. Freedom Life with always be family.

I am taking all I have learned from my pastors, mentors, leaders, and friends and bringing it to Legacy Church in Columbus, Ohio. This July begins a new season full of fun, growth, challenges, and new experiences.

I said this before beginning my student teaching, and I'll say it with each new beginning.

In the wonderful words of Bilbo Baggins, "I'm going on an adventure!".

Much love + blessings,

Becky xoxo

He Said "Go"

People ask me a lot why I like paper airplanes and why I have a tattoo of one. Well here it is kids. It's story time.

I have the coolest parents who love Jesus more than anyone I know. Their hearts for people and our Father are SO great. God called them to reach people, just like He calls all of us. But for them it was special. From the first moment I can remember, I was taught to serve. 

My earliest memories are from Florida because when I was 2 years old, my dad took a giant step of faith and moved our whole family to Pensacola. God told him to go into ministry and attend Brownsville Revival School of Ministry. I don't remember much other than our tire swing in our giant tree out back, lighting fireworks in the driveway, riding my bike with my brother and our friends, hopping the fence to go to the neighbor's, and Missionettes. What's Missionettes? Picture the Girl Scouts, except we were taught about serving, honoring, and glorifying our Lord. However, my proudest memory is standing in the kitchen with my mom while Craig ate cereal out of his green bowl with a straw and giving my life to Jesus at 5 years old.

Because of my parents' faithfulness and dedication to serving Jesus, I grew up knowing who Jesus was, what He did for me, and loving Him for it. When I was just a little girl who still loved pink and pig-tails, I went on my first missions trip with my parents. I may not remember it, but I can guarantee that I am who I am now because of that experience. 

Every minute of every day of my life, I've been taught to serve. I've been taught to honor. I've been taught to show grace and to forgive. Every day I have been taught to show Jesus to those who don't know Him, and every day I learn more and more of what that looks like. 

I was heartbroken when my parents wouldn't let me go to England with my brother on a missions trip. I even wrote them a letter explaining why I should go. 12 year old Becky wanted nothing more than to travel and serve Jesus. I am thankful that they wouldn't let me go because it lit a fire in me that has yet to fade. A fire and a passion to see the wonder of God's creation and to spread His love among the nations. 

Little did I know at 12 years old that I was born into a missions-centered family and that God put that fire in me for a reason. I grew up watching my parents travel, watching my brother travel, and traveling with them to follow the great commission. My greatest memories, moments, summers, and adventures involved hopping in a van or plane or car and traveling to nearby cities and distant lands to do what I was created to do. Serve Jesus. 

Just for fun, here's a list. 

2009: one week in Philadelphia

2010: one week in Philadelphia

2011: one week in Haiti

2012: two weeks in Honduras

2013: five weeks traveling PA + NY with Holy Hands (One18)

2014: one week in Honduras

2015: seven weeks in Honduras

7 years. 7 trips. 18 weeks.

2016 was a rough year for me. I had such an itch to jump on a plane and fly off to the place God had for me next. I committed to going to Romania, but that trip was canceled not long after it was announced. I had options and I prayed. I asked God to show me where to go next and told him that all I wanted in life was to follow the path He had for me. What He told me has stayed with me since. 

He said, "Go somewhere you don't want to go to do what I have created you to do."

Now, this has a few significant parts. Isn't it funny how God knows EXACTLY what will get your attention because of multiple prayers you've prayed? 

"Do what I have created you to do."

I talk to God a lot when I'm in the car. That's where I spend most of my Jesus time. We had a conversation about a year and a half ago about what He wanted me to do. At that time, I had a few semesters of school left and was looking for what direction He wanted me to go. I knew I was called to work with kids, but I didn't know in what capacity. That day He told me. "You are created to teach kids about Jesus."

"Go somewhere you don't want to go..."

I have a list. It's a long list. It's a list of all of the places I want to go, all the places I want to see, all the places I wouldn't hesitate to travel. There were countries I didn't have any interest in, never crossed my mind, or just plain didn't want to see. So when God told me somewhere I didn't want to go, I was surprised that I didn't hesitate. I said, "Okay, God. Use me. Stretch me." I knew exactly where he was talking about.

I have had less than 0% interest in going to Africa. One of the options I had was to go to Zimbabwe to help in an orphanage and go to schools and put on assemblies. I had instant peace when God answered the way He did because I knew what He meant. I was called to go to Africa. Or so I thought. 

I was more excited than I had been for any other trip. I started fundraising right away. God provided in some amazing ways, right down to getting my airfare money in THE DAY IT WAS DUE. My heart was so full and I was so ready to get on that plane. I was broken when the trip fell through only a few hundred dollars short of my overall cost. I thought He called me to go to Africa, but it turns out He called me to trust Him in ways I had forgotten were possible. I learned to rely on Him when all seems lost, to pray bold prayers, and to bravely follow Him.

These are lessons I keep close to my heart every day. God has called me to a life of missions. He has called me to a life of serving Him, loving kids, and bravely following him. 

Bravely following God's call all over the world to teach kids about Jesus. 

So really, the paper airplane is only a part of the story.

Much love + blessings,

Becky

Little Victories

I have been up hours and hours past my bedtime almost every night this week. 

I don't say this to complain. I say this because with every goal, dream, and desire we have comes dedication, strong will, and sacrifice. These things come from passion, and remembering why we have that dream in the first place. 

I am only a handful of months away from graduating and becoming a teacher. While that thought is a little scary and overwhelming, I am overcome with emotion because I know that all the late nights, tears, and frustration will be worth making a difference in the lives of students. It's not easy and I get discouraged more often than I care to admit. But teaching is what I love doing. It's what God has called me to do. 

I want to tell you a story about a student I had in my classroom in Philadelphia. This boy, let's call him Michael, would come into class crying every day. He would walk into the room, sit at his desk for a moment, unpack his backpack, then return to his seat with his books in front of him. He never said a word. He just cried. For weeks, it was the same routine. My heart broke for him almost immediately. All I wanted to do was help him, to figure out what was going on and to make it better. Being a teacher is more than just teaching the curriculum and giving assessments. Being a teacher means you are filled with compassion, empathy, patience, and grace. 

It took lots and lots of patience with Michael. Every morning I would greet him with a smile, help him with his things, and sit next to him during morning reading. I would talk to him, offering him encouragement and an ear to hear what was wrong. He hardly spoke. It was mainly head nods and more tears. After the first couple weeks, I noticed he started to follow along with the class and pay attention to the head teacher's instructions. He would complete his work in class, still clearly upset with the occasional outbursts of tears. But then he started raising his hand. I remember that moment, the first time I saw him participate in class. He would answer questions and write on the board. My heart leaped because I knew that a bigger breakthrough was coming. 

It only took a few more weeks until the day came when he didn't cry at all during class. This may not seem like a big deal to some people. Maybe they're thinking, Finally it's quiet in here and I can focus. He was so disruptive. I'll be honest, I didn't notice at first. I saw a student who was eating breakfast and reading his books in the beginning of the day. That was our routine. I think that I didn't notice at first because I saw a student working towards being successful. I saw a student who wanted to learn. I believed in him from day one, and when I saw him working it was like that's how it had always been. I saw the student I knew was there all along. 

Those are the greatest joys of teaching; the little gains. Knowing you helped a student take one more step forward when they never thought they could. I still don't know what was going on at home or in his life that made him so upset during the day. But I know that being patient and showing him grace showed him the love of Jesus, whether he knew it or not. 

It's these seemingly small victories that make it all worth it. It's seeing the breakthroughs, the success, and the joy in a child's eyes while they're learning that reminds me why I do what I do. 

"Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him." - Psalms 127:3

Children are a gift. I am honored that God has called me to share his love with them and to teach them about His son. I am learning more every day that teaching children about Jesus goes beyond a Sunday morning. It's every day, in every moment, with everything you do. 

Every action, every word, and every expression has the potential to show Jesus to a child whether you mention his name or not. 

Let's make them count. 

Much love + blessings, 

Becky 

Embracing the Uncomfortable

I am not a morning person. 

In fact, I am the last person you want to talk to in the morning. That is, until I've had my coffee. Waking up when it's still dark out isn't fun. The only thing I really like getting up early for are deer, fish, and planes. 

But this semester there's a new reason: school. I have the honor of teaching and assisting in a 1st grade classroom at Julia de Burgos Bilingual Elementary School in the heart of Philadelphia twice a week. In all honesty, when I found out I was placed in the School District of Philadelphia I was less than thrilled. I immediately began to think about traffic, driving, my dislike towards cities in general, the differences between me and my students, and pretty much every other negative thing you could think there is.

My first day did not go as I had hoped. I was pouring, dark, gloomy, and stressful. That was just the 2 hour commute to the school. Once I was in the room, I felt at home. But after that commute I began to think about everything that could go wrong throughout my time in Philly. However, this morning was a different story. 

I woke up a little late and thought to myself, "Great, it's only day 2.". 

During my drive, my attitude began to change. It started with seeing the sunrise, something that I had not experienced on my first day. The sky was full of cotton candy clouds as the sun made it's appearance. I thought, "Wow! THIS is what I get to see twice a week!". 

Notice the word get. God transformed my spirit of negativity into one that recognizes the blessings in the midst of change and new experiences. 

As I reached the outskirts of Philadelphia, I felt my heart begin to change - a stirring in my soul. A phrase popped into my head that has been on repeat the entire day. 

I feel like I'm going to grow to love this city.

Now, if you know me at all then you know that I don't like cities. I don't like the traffic, the congestion, everything being so fast paced and close together. I like my fields and back roads and wild animals. But I still felt this stirring and then an indescribable joy take over. 

I feel like I'm going to grow to love this city. 

I walked through the doors of Julia de Burgos Bilingual Elementary School with a new attitude. One of love, joy, compassion, and peace. I greeted the students, watched them unpack their backpacks, and saw a new generation rising up to change the world. It doesn't matter if they are from downtown Philly or the cornfields of Lancaster. They are sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, mothers, fathers, businessmen, teachers, pastors, counselors, secretaries, office workers; they are world changers and they are full of potential. 

My heart has already grown to love this city so much, and I thank God for making me uncomfortable. It's through our discomfort that we are stretched, and it's through being stretched that we grow. 

Allow God to make you uncomfortable. Don't remain stagnant because you're scared of what might happen. Instead, be excited for what could happen. 

Much love + blessings, 

xoxo Becky

Whispers

It's a Tuesday in the beginning of the semester, a time when I'm not really thinking about anything other than school work and deadlines and other responsibilities. But as I am sitting in the Outdoor Classroom embracing the gorgeous weather and scenery, God is whispering.

I was reminded of the intimacy we have when we are in relationship with God.

"It's nice to know I'm not alone. I've found my home here in your arms." -We Dance

We are never alone. God is just a shout, cry, or whisper away. He excitedly embraces us when we run to him. There is nothing too big or too small, no reason for us not to be welcomed into his arms. Even when we are angry with God, he still loves us.

I was also reminded that while it can be painful and difficult to have God close doors, nothing compares to what he has in store for us in the future. He closes doors because he loves us so much.

// I'm going to stop for a minute. I started this post in the morning, and have been trying to organize my thoughts into a somewhat coherent mess out of the the jumbled hot mess that they are, but I think I'm just going to run the train on the track it's going. Bare with me. \\

God uses music to speak to me a lot, and sometimes I don't even realize he's trying to get my attention. But this morning was different. Almost every song that played had a small, very specific message for me. And while I would love to write about all of them, I think the most important thing I took away from today encompasses all of them.

God whispers.

Let me say that again.

God whispers. 

I don't know about you, but when I heard about God speaking to other people I always imagined a strong, deep, clearly audible voice shouting from the Heavens so you wouldn't miss it. I quickly learned that that wasn't always the case (because it's God and he can do what he wants, if he wants to shout he totally could). I struggled with this for a long time, and I still do at times. I wanted to really know when God was trying to speak to me. I wanted it to be dramatic.

There have been times where I was 100% sure that God was talking, and other times I had to consult mentors and leaders. Today he showed up so many times with small, fortune-cookie-like reminders.

That's when I realized that he whispers too. All we have to do is listen. I needed to escape the craziness of senior year, field classes, homework assignments, and church responsibilities and embrace God's presence. I made my life a little quieter for an hour and began to worship his love and power and grace.

God wants to meet us where we're at. We just have to be willing to shut out the world and listen. Listen for his whispers.

I hope and I pray that you would rest in his presence and hear him. He hears you.

Much love + blessings,

Becky

Chasing Peace

Stress is something that is inevitable in life. Whether it be a job, a relationship, a fender bender on your way to the grocery store, making tough decisions, or a medical situation, we all experience some kind of anxiety and stress. Maybe things just didn't go the way you wanted or expected them to go.

According to my plans and desires, I should have just gotten home from Africa. But I didn't. And that's okay. Instead I am spending time with good friends and pastors in Ohio, something I probably wouldn't have taken time off work for. Despite being heartbroken and discouraged about Africa, my heart is full of peace.

Peace in our Father is something I have been continually chasing after for years. It can seem so far away at times, and other times it's just right there. When I get into tough situations or things don't go the way I thought God wanted (like Africa), I run to God and ask for his peace and comfort to cover me. Well, I try to do this every time. It doesn't always work out that way. There are times when I get angry at God and just cry out "Why?!". But I've learned a very important lesson about God through these outbursts and tears. 

The why doesn't really matter, it's the who. And that who is our Heavenly Father who loves us SO much that he sacrificed his son, who spins the galaxies in perfect harmony and placed each star thoughtful in the sky, who breathed life into the Earth and spoke the universe into existence. He is PERFECT in all his ways and wants nothing more than to see us joyfully and willfully chasing after him.

"Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

All we have to do is go to him. That's it. Jesus I need you. Give me peace in the midst of the unknown. I don't understand what's happrning, but you do so I know that everything will be okay. Thank you for your love, grace,and peace. All of which I don't deserve. Thank you for your sacrifice and paying the price for my life. I love you and am chasing after your heart.

Much love + blessings,

Becky

He Hears You

"When You don't move the mountains I'm needing You to move

When You don't part the waters I wish I could walk through

When You don't give the answers as I cry out to You

I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!"

-Trust in You

Lauren Daigle has quickly become one of my favorite Christian artists ever since I went to Outcry Tour last year in D.C. I love whenever her songs come on the radio when I'm driving (which is pretty much all the time). This song plays often, but it caught my attention the other day. When I found out the trip to Zimbabwe was cancelled, I argued with God. I didn't understand why it happened after He had called me to go. He gave me a verse (which you can read about in my last post), and now He has given me a song.

There are so many things we wish for in life. We ask God to move mountains, part waters, and answer our cries. It's important to know that God hears. When he doesn't move the mountains, part the waters, or answer right away, that doesn't mean He's not listening. He knows the desires of our hearts. He knows every thought and every feeling. After all, He created us. 

He created us uniquely and perfectly for a purpose. So that mountain you're asking Him to move, He might not move it because there's a forest fire on the other side. He might not part the waters you want Him to because of sharp rocks on the ocean floor. He might not give an answer right when you demand one because you don't need an answer in that moment - you just need to trust Him. 

"I will trust in You"

Honestly, it took me a few days to get to this point. I trust God with my whole heart, and I know that his plans are far greater than mine could ever be. But when an opportunity for me to use my gifts and passions was ripped out from under me, I felt lost. Through angry prayers, an overwhelming amount emotion, and lots of tears, I found peace. 

Arguably the most important thing I learned from this whole experience is that God hears me. Our Father hears our cries, our frustrations, and our desires. But in the midst of our struggles and questions, don't forget that He also hears our thanks. 

Thank you God for entrusting me with this life. Thank you for giving me a passion to reach children, to teach them about You. Thank you for my family and friends who encourage, love, and build me up. Thank you for giving me a heart for the world, the desire to see all that You have created. Thank you for paying to price for my sins, thank you for loving me so much that You would send Your son. 

My prayer for you is that when you have mountains and waters in front of you and are crying out to God, that you would trust in Him and know that He hears you. Rest in His perfect love. 

Much love + blessings, 

xoxo Becky